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Sep. 18th, 2025 10:17 amhere is what happened as i recall:
last 3 weeks: he spoke to me frequently, often stopping me on the way to class or the dining hall, asked for my instagram, etc
tuesday: he invited me to a field with him and a few of his friends. we sat and watched the sunset. they played guitar and sang, i listened, content and happy. i thought he was so attractive. him and his friend played chess once it was dark. they struggled to hold the light so i offered. i held up my phone for them. i sat next to c. and our knees were touching. he shifted and i thought he was moving away from me but he pressed closer. i thought then that he might like me. they gave up on chess and our group started talking. he laid on the grass and told me i should as well. he put his arm around me. a few times he rubbed my arm when i shivered. everyone eventually trickled out. he said “and then there were two.” then he said “you can probably tell i have a bit of a crush on you.” i asked “why?” he said “well i really wanted you to come to my party, i wanted you here, you’re really pretty.” he told me it was cute the way i swung my legs back and forth. he tried to kiss me and i was shocked and turned my head. he was apologetic. i turned back and apologized. he said “this is what i was trying to do” and kissed me again. he walked me back to my dorm. i kissed him. i had to stand on my tiptoes.
wednesday: he invited me to his birthday party on saturday. he said he loved my baking and asked if i wanted to bake with him at his house before the party. i was so excited. i said yes. he called his mom and i said hi to her. it was cute and awkward. he called me later and said he was going to a cafe. i was high and incapacitated so i didn’t offer to come. i said “have fun” in a way that maybe sounded bitchy.
thursday: he acted normal in class, he gave me honey to make cornbread with. he asked me to come with him to his dorm after class. he showed me a book. we sat on his bed together and i thought he was going to kiss me but his roommate j.e. walked in. c. said he had work in an hour but he asked if i wanted to go smoke a joint with him in the woods. i said yes- j.e. tagged along, clearly not picking up on the implications. we all talked before j.e. headed off. once he was gone, c. admitted he wanted to be alone with me. he kissed me again. then he left for work.
friday: every friday he hosts an event where he makes stew for ~35 and its a big party. he started cooking at 8am. i made cornbread. i don’t like these occasions much because they’re full of people i dont know and i always feel awkward and childish and out of place. but i like c. and want excuses to be around him. i find it easier to attend parties when i bring something as an icebreaker so i made cornbread and everyone loved it. he said hi a couple times at the party but was understandably occupied for most of it. i noticed how much one girl, b., was hanging off his shoulder and how much he touched her. i hate her. a few people played guitar, including c.. i was so attracted to him. there was a party happening at 8:30 AFTER his stew party. people started trickling out to get ready for that. i got up and he said “i’ll see you tomorrow” i took that to mean he assumed i wasn’t going to the party afterwards and clearly he wasn’t going to invite me. it hurt my feelings a little. i told him i was just going to sit somewhere else for a while, not leaving yet. he shrugged and walked away. i was drunk and horny at the party and saw him in a group of friends. i tried to get his attention. he never spoke to me. i still had an amazing time with my friends, thankfully. this is so embarrassing but afterwards i texted him asking if he was there. he said yes. he had gone skinny dipping and to waffle house at 3am. i was jealous.
saturday: in the morning i saw him at the dining hall. we spoke a bit- it was stilted. he said it was probably too late to bake at his house. i was sad but i agreed. it was so awkward. i dont get along with his friends much at all. i usually sit quietly and listen while they talk. it made me unsure if i wanted to go to his party at all. i went to leave and he said (see you later" and i said "probably not." i regretted this though. later i texted him and said i did want to go. he said "come" and sent me the address. later he called and asked if i wanted a ride to the party and i said that would be really nice. he told me to be ready at 4:30. at 4:30 i waited to hear from him but he never called. at 5:45 i called him and asked if he had already left. they left without me. i told him i would come anyway and he said to. it was so embarrassing but i wanted to see him. i wanted to fuck him. when i got to the party he told me he felt really bad. he ignored me most of the night, there were times when it even seemed like he was avoiding me. he got so fucked up. they were all making plans to leave and go to a different party back on campus. as they headed out i realized i was about to be left alone, high and drunk, at his house with his family. i begged a random couple to take me with them and they agreed. when we got back to campus they left me alone and i sat at a table with a group of 3 girls (i knew one from class) and i started to sob.
sunday: he called and asked if i needed a ride to my car at his house. he doesn't drive though. he was volunteering his friend. i said no. my friend took me to his house and i got my car.
monday: radio silence. i hoped he would come into the cafe where i work but i didnt see him.
tuesday: saw him in class. made eye contact for a moment. he spoke to the boy next to me. he didn't speak to me and it almost felt pointed. we were let out of class early and he was gone before i had even packed my bag.
wednesday: he came into the cafe for lunch. i was busy so i didnt say hi. afterwards as i was walking out he stopped me. he asked me if i was going to come to his stew party on friday and i said i wasnt. he told me he was going to go smoke later and said i should come. he said he would call me. he called me and said i should come down to the pavilion outside his dorm where he and his friend were sitting. i did, and sat with them for an hour before he had to go to work. i walked to his job with him. he didn't say or do anything to display interest. it was sweet but very confusing. im starting to wonder if i made everything up
thursday: i have class with him later. feeling anticipatory
the way this makes me feel is frustrating. im not even trying to date him. i want something brief with him, im attracted to him. but the way hes manipulating me is working. i wish i could get with my ra (unrelated)
last 3 weeks: he spoke to me frequently, often stopping me on the way to class or the dining hall, asked for my instagram, etc
tuesday: he invited me to a field with him and a few of his friends. we sat and watched the sunset. they played guitar and sang, i listened, content and happy. i thought he was so attractive. him and his friend played chess once it was dark. they struggled to hold the light so i offered. i held up my phone for them. i sat next to c. and our knees were touching. he shifted and i thought he was moving away from me but he pressed closer. i thought then that he might like me. they gave up on chess and our group started talking. he laid on the grass and told me i should as well. he put his arm around me. a few times he rubbed my arm when i shivered. everyone eventually trickled out. he said “and then there were two.” then he said “you can probably tell i have a bit of a crush on you.” i asked “why?” he said “well i really wanted you to come to my party, i wanted you here, you’re really pretty.” he told me it was cute the way i swung my legs back and forth. he tried to kiss me and i was shocked and turned my head. he was apologetic. i turned back and apologized. he said “this is what i was trying to do” and kissed me again. he walked me back to my dorm. i kissed him. i had to stand on my tiptoes.
wednesday: he invited me to his birthday party on saturday. he said he loved my baking and asked if i wanted to bake with him at his house before the party. i was so excited. i said yes. he called his mom and i said hi to her. it was cute and awkward. he called me later and said he was going to a cafe. i was high and incapacitated so i didn’t offer to come. i said “have fun” in a way that maybe sounded bitchy.
thursday: he acted normal in class, he gave me honey to make cornbread with. he asked me to come with him to his dorm after class. he showed me a book. we sat on his bed together and i thought he was going to kiss me but his roommate j.e. walked in. c. said he had work in an hour but he asked if i wanted to go smoke a joint with him in the woods. i said yes- j.e. tagged along, clearly not picking up on the implications. we all talked before j.e. headed off. once he was gone, c. admitted he wanted to be alone with me. he kissed me again. then he left for work.
friday: every friday he hosts an event where he makes stew for ~35 and its a big party. he started cooking at 8am. i made cornbread. i don’t like these occasions much because they’re full of people i dont know and i always feel awkward and childish and out of place. but i like c. and want excuses to be around him. i find it easier to attend parties when i bring something as an icebreaker so i made cornbread and everyone loved it. he said hi a couple times at the party but was understandably occupied for most of it. i noticed how much one girl, b., was hanging off his shoulder and how much he touched her. i hate her. a few people played guitar, including c.. i was so attracted to him. there was a party happening at 8:30 AFTER his stew party. people started trickling out to get ready for that. i got up and he said “i’ll see you tomorrow” i took that to mean he assumed i wasn’t going to the party afterwards and clearly he wasn’t going to invite me. it hurt my feelings a little. i told him i was just going to sit somewhere else for a while, not leaving yet. he shrugged and walked away. i was drunk and horny at the party and saw him in a group of friends. i tried to get his attention. he never spoke to me. i still had an amazing time with my friends, thankfully. this is so embarrassing but afterwards i texted him asking if he was there. he said yes. he had gone skinny dipping and to waffle house at 3am. i was jealous.
saturday: in the morning i saw him at the dining hall. we spoke a bit- it was stilted. he said it was probably too late to bake at his house. i was sad but i agreed. it was so awkward. i dont get along with his friends much at all. i usually sit quietly and listen while they talk. it made me unsure if i wanted to go to his party at all. i went to leave and he said (see you later" and i said "probably not." i regretted this though. later i texted him and said i did want to go. he said "come" and sent me the address. later he called and asked if i wanted a ride to the party and i said that would be really nice. he told me to be ready at 4:30. at 4:30 i waited to hear from him but he never called. at 5:45 i called him and asked if he had already left. they left without me. i told him i would come anyway and he said to. it was so embarrassing but i wanted to see him. i wanted to fuck him. when i got to the party he told me he felt really bad. he ignored me most of the night, there were times when it even seemed like he was avoiding me. he got so fucked up. they were all making plans to leave and go to a different party back on campus. as they headed out i realized i was about to be left alone, high and drunk, at his house with his family. i begged a random couple to take me with them and they agreed. when we got back to campus they left me alone and i sat at a table with a group of 3 girls (i knew one from class) and i started to sob.
sunday: he called and asked if i needed a ride to my car at his house. he doesn't drive though. he was volunteering his friend. i said no. my friend took me to his house and i got my car.
monday: radio silence. i hoped he would come into the cafe where i work but i didnt see him.
tuesday: saw him in class. made eye contact for a moment. he spoke to the boy next to me. he didn't speak to me and it almost felt pointed. we were let out of class early and he was gone before i had even packed my bag.
wednesday: he came into the cafe for lunch. i was busy so i didnt say hi. afterwards as i was walking out he stopped me. he asked me if i was going to come to his stew party on friday and i said i wasnt. he told me he was going to go smoke later and said i should come. he said he would call me. he called me and said i should come down to the pavilion outside his dorm where he and his friend were sitting. i did, and sat with them for an hour before he had to go to work. i walked to his job with him. he didn't say or do anything to display interest. it was sweet but very confusing. im starting to wonder if i made everything up
thursday: i have class with him later. feeling anticipatory
the way this makes me feel is frustrating. im not even trying to date him. i want something brief with him, im attracted to him. but the way hes manipulating me is working. i wish i could get with my ra (unrelated)
