hypersexual?

why am i always horny? its humiliating. im horny for guys im not even attracted to. the second i even brush a guys hand i imagine his cock. is this a symptom of something psychological? some combination of being insecure and sexually frustrated? its torture but at the same time i love it. being slutty feels exhilarating, i feel like i wouldn't mind being an actual slut except i cant for the life of me get dick.

i've been into 3 guys since starting school a month ago and i fucked one of them and kissed another but cant seem to get farther than that. i think he lost interest in me once the chase was over and he knew he could fuck me. kind of upset he didn't. it makes me wonder if im unattractive or unfuckable.

the guy that i fucked in the second week of school was so unattractive that he repulses me now. he was so insecure it made him deeply unmasculine in a way that grossed me out. i could feel his insecurity radiating off him. im surprised he didnt go soft. it was shitty and i knew it would be. but i wanted dick and he was there.

im a bad person.